I received an email from the #GunAppreciationDay people today. I figured I’d annotate it. My comments follow the **.
Help us fund advertsing and spread the word far and wide…
Gun Appreciation Day is January 19
** I’m looking forward to other days on which to appreciate material goods. When is toaster appreciation day?
We’re marching towards Gun Appreciation Day full steam ahead, and already the liberal
gun control crowd is using every trick in the book to try and stop us. They even sent one of their key attack dogs on TV to insinuate that our efforts to protect our Second Amendment rights are racist.
** I am working on improving my cliché usage and appreciate “full steam ahead” and “every trick in the book.” If you could mix a metaphor at some point, I would greatly appreciate it.
Yes, they somehow found a way to pull out the race card against the Bill of Rights. It would be amusing if it wasn’t so sad.
** This paragraph is protected by the Right to Make No Sense.
We have put together a plan for a full media blast to counter their ridiculous claims and build support for Gun Appreciation Day. But we don’t have much time – especially considering frisky Uncle Joe Biden is charging full speed ahead with his gun-grabbing task force.
** I think there might be some birther Southern Cross dog-whistle politics going on here, but my hearing cuts off at 20,000 Hz.
** What about The Blaze? Without Glenn Beck, you put your credibility as a centrist arbiter of truth at risk. And what is “advertsing” — is it a singing advert, like when the people show up on my doorstep in their underwear?
Our plan involves advertising at all the major outlets that conservatives and those on the fence frequent – like Drudge Report and Fox News – along with the social media sites where the messaging battle about guns is raging.
** Fox News’s voters are indeed undecided. About whether to order from Domino’s or Papa Johns, for example.
Getting everything up and running has been expensive, and it’s pushed our resources to the limit. Now it’s up to patriots like you who are standing strong in your personal spheres of influence to help us take this fight to the big leagues.
** There’s our mixed metaphor. Thank you.
Any small amount you can contribute will help us reach thousands of potential allies – allies we’re going to desperately need going against Big Media and the liberals’ dirty tricks. And it will give us a platform to expose the weak and emotionally predatory arguments of the political Left.
** Among the liberals’ dirty tricks have included speaking at memorials for the children of Sandy Hook.
Without the ability to challenge them on their home turf, the liberals are going to control the message about guns. They are going to push public opinion to accept their gun control schemes, drowning out arguments about our Constitutional rights and how their plans would do NOTHING to decrease gun crime – but a lot to keep the citizenry in line with the liberal Obama agenda.
** First gun control, then mind control. Then, on the highway, speed control.
** Hey, this looks vaguely familiar.
At Political Media, we’re going to continue to lead this battle for our Republic no matter who is with us or what underhanded attacks are thrown our way. But with your financial support, we can actually win this thing.
** Political Media, when people assail you with underhanded attacks, you don’t have to ask for handouts. You can just say,“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt Political Media.”
With your support we can save the freedoms we’ve known not just for future generations – but for our generation too.
** Such as the freedom to be besieged by television coverage of mass shootings.
No matter if you can afford $5 or $500, anything and everything will make a difference. And if you have never given before, there is no worthier cause than to protect the very foundation of our Liberty.
** $5 can’t make a difference, but it just bought me this Starbucks Tazo® Green Tea Frappuccino® Blended Crème, which is really just a Shamrock Shake®.
Because that’s what this is about. Liberty is dangerous to the big-government, big-control Democrats like President Obama and his cronies.
** Fortunately, the 2012 Jeep Liberty is safe to big government and other passengers, scoring a “good” rating based on IIHS Crash-Test Data. We’ll see what happens when they move all their production to China, though.
They know that getting guns out of the hands of Americans won’t stop violence, as any study about disarmed states like the UK will show you. They don’t care about that. What they want is to make sure that we have nothing to “cling to,” as they put it, when they try to implement their government takeovers.
** I swear I’m hearing a high-pitched sound. Is someone preparing tea?
** Now wait a minute…
Over the last 200 years, millions of patriots sacrificed and even paid the ultimate price to win and protect our Liberty. Now, that long legacy is on our shoulders – and we have a duty to honor and protect it ourselves.
** I thought you said “200 million years” for a second, but that can’t be right, because the world is only 9,000 years old.
In this day and age, we don’t have to rely on a few Founders to carry the torch and put everything on the line for us. We can embody the ideal of We the People as they envisioned it and use our combined resources to fight against the progressive tide, ushering back the days of prosperity and greatness.
** These issues don’t seem entirely related. Do they teach economics at gun shows?
We urge you to stand alongside us and make your most generous contribution today. We can’t afford to make a half-hearted effort against the relentless Obama Machine.
** You’ll blow away those fundraising goals, I’m guessing.
PS: Please follow four easy steps to DEFEND GUN RIGHTS:
** We’ll see a lot of scraggly X’s on that petition.
** Usually we highlight the entire word when hyperlinking. But seeing as you might point your AR-15 Bushmaster with the 100-round clip at me for pointing this out, you go right ahead and do that.
** You should consider the acronym “GAD.” Then your online campaign could be “eGAD!”
4- Then invite your friends to join!
** Right after the Tobaccanists for Freedom rally.
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** I wouldn’t dream of it.